Thursday, January 30, 2014

Texas, Our Texas

Last week on Facebook I came across a post that a lot of people from back home had shared so I clicked on the link and ended up taking a trip down memory lane. The site showed "20 Things Nobody Warned You About When Moving Away From Texas." Here's my take:

1. Nobody comprehends how huge Texas really is.... This is the God's honest truth. I grew up in a suburb just north of Houston. I chose to go to college out of state. It was 9 ish hours away in Kansas. Funny thing is, my friends that stayed in state and went to Texas Tech were also 9ish hours from home. That's ridiculous. Also, one year I went to the Sun Bowl in El Paso. That was a 14 hour drive. I think I could have driven to Florida in that amount of time.

2. You can get decent BBQ but you'll die a little inside because it's not Texas BBQ...  I really believed this was true until about 2 years ago when I had Oklahoma Joe's for the first time. No other BBQ will ever hold a candle to Okie Joe's. The Z-Man is heaven in the form of a sandwich topped with onion rings. Sorry Texas... you just don't win on this one.

3. People just assume you wear boots and cowboy hats every day... This is false, though entirely acceptable. Everyone should own a good pair of boots no matter where you live, but unless you actually live in the country or are a famous country singer.... lose the hat.

4. You'll have nightmares over not being able to get Kolaches anywhere... Fact. Sausage and cheese kolaches are the bomb. No one can argue that. I even got my Kansas husband turned on to them. I have seen something similar up here that people call sausage and cheese rolls. It doesn't even sound good. It doesn't hold a candle to my beloved kolaches. Now why is there no Shipley's anywhere in Kansas City!!!!!

5. Nobody cares about their state flower outside of Texas... this is a sad fact. And it is probably because nowere else do people experience the phenominal fields of one flower. When they bloom you will see them in fields and people will pull over on the side of the road to take family pictures or engagement pictures in them. It is beautiful. And it is so Texas!
Try and tell me that isn't beautiful...
6. You'll miss Tex-Mex more than you can ever imagine... The band Bowling For Soup was right when they said' "Mexican food does such north of here anyway." It's bland. It lacks melted cheese. It's just not the same. In Kansas City's defense, I have had some decent Mexican food. But it kills me that people rave over the flavorless ground beef and stale tortilla chips.

7. No Ren Fest comes close to Texas Ren Fest... I'm told this is true. I was never a huge fan of the Rennessance Festival and only went once in Texas in high school. I thought it was weird. I have never had the desire to go in Kansas City.

8. Weather isn't bipolar in other states... I'm not positive this is true. I will say that in Texas there were days we needed the AC during the day and the heater at night. That was insane, sure. But Texas is mostly just hot and people freak out if it get's below fifty. And they close school if it below freezing... because it's cold. Kansas City however will go from upper fifties to single digits in 24 hours. Kansas City wins for most bipolar weather.

9. People think Friday Night Lights is an exaggeration... It's not. Texas football is actually that out of control. People live for it, and for good reason. I'm not going to lie to you... I enjoyed my high school footbal games way more than my college ones. It's such an energetic environment!!!
This is actually my high school stadium.
10. Nothing is hotter than Teas heat, and your new friends will hear about it... I disagree. Kansas City heat is just like Texas heat. It might be slightly less humid but let's be real once it's over 100 degrees any humidity sucks.
It's hard to look good when you are sitting outside sweating in the heat and humidity. But man, did Jimmy Buffet put on a show!!!
11. Ask for a Coke and you'll only ever be given a Coca Cola... this is true. It hurts me a little every time I say 'pop.' It's just not me. But if I say coke people get confused. All I really want is a Diet Dr. Pepper!!!

12. You'll miss Rodeo season every damn day... Fact. I have tried to explain the importance of the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo to my dear sweet Kansas-born-and-raised husband. He doesn't get it. The last rodeo I went to Jason Aldean preformed. He said and I quote, "you know you've made it big when you get asked to play at the Houston Rodeo." See? Even Jason Aldean understands. He is a smart man.
I actually know people that ride bulls... and not the mechanical kind.
13. People think the Texas side of the Gulf is nice... It's not. The water is brown. Unless you go to Corpus Christi you will be seriously dissappointed in Texas beaches. But that doesn't mean I never brag about how close I used to live to the beach and how often I went. I am a Texan afterall :)
Not Texas.
Texas. This is the Gulf... seaweed and all.
14. Not many people have heard of South Padre... I completely disagree with this. What college student hasn't heard of South Padre??? Again, I'm not crazy about it. I never went except once with my family in elementary school. I was never a big enough partier to go during college either.

15. Not everyone waves when you wave at them... this is something that have been hard to grasp. Not only do people not wave back at me but I learned the hard way that in the Midwest it is not acceptable to give someone a hug when you are first introduced to them. Even if you feel like you know them because your close friend talks about them all the time. It's weird. People never hug. They are friendly, but clearly they value personal space... maybe to a fault?

16. No other state would be fine being banned form the country... probably because no other state would survive. I'm not saying they should secede but it's kind of nice to have options, right?

17. Everyone assumes you know how to ride a horse... I haven't ridden a horse since I was a kid. It was awesome. But I only know one or two people from back home that even owns horses.

18. People who have never been to Texas can draw Texas... I think this is probably semi true. I for one couldn't draw any state that isn't a rectangle... other than Texas... obviously.

19. You might actually have to drive far to get to a Dairy Queen, if your lucky... True. I think there should be a federal law that there should always be a DQ within 20 miles of everyone. It's just the right thing to do.

20. Floating the river usually involves a boat outside of Texas... I think this is true though I haven't been on many float trips. Here is the truth though... there is nothing like floating down the Guadelupe in a black tube with a floating cooler for hours. There are usually nice places to stop and rope swings to fling yourself into the river. It's a blast!

The Alamo... obviously.

1 comment:

  1. Your post and the original made me laugh. I lived in TX for 13 years and so many are so true. In Florida people actually float in tubes/rafts down the natural springs that are FREEZING but it's just like the Guadalupe except the water is super sister will take snorkel gear and look at the fish underwater.

    I've always thought how long it takes to drive to texas was insane! We drove from Dallas to CA once and it took us a whole day 8-10 hours just to get out of texas! My mom had friends that had a daughter that lived in El Paso or Amarillo and another in Louisiana they lived in Houston at the time and their daughter in Louisiana was a shorter drive!