Before I get too far into this I feel like I should preface with something. I AM Pro-Life, and always have been. I just see things differently than I have in the past. Life happens and sometimes are experiences give us better insight to the depth of our beliefs.
Without a doubt, I believe that life begins at conception. And anything that prevents that little life from happening is ultimately murder. That might sound pretty drastic but that's because it truly is. Even a young child could tell you that taking a life is equivalent to killing. It is black and white... there are no grey areas.
Many people believe there ARE grey areas though. That in certain instances, maybe it is ok to take away that life. I'm not just talking about a 16 year old that accidentally got knocked up but actually really intelligent people with doctorates believe this. They are wrong. Again, there is no grey area.
The difference between how I feel about being pro-life now and how I felt about it last year is that I can relate to those people that see the grey. I now know what it is like to be pregnant and it not be exactly what you thought. My pregnancy was planned but the chromosomal abnormalities were not. I know what it feels like to worry and wonder about how this child will change your life. I know the fear that you won't be able to take care of the child well enough. I know the anxiety over the uncertain future. And I know what it's like to hear people tell you that the easiest thing would be to end it. And for that split second to think, "Yes. It would be easier." It was never really an option for me, but I still hated myself for that second of weakness.
But here is what I know that the people that see grey don't know. Taking the life of my sick child would not have been easier. I still lost my daughter but my conscious is clear because I know that I loved her for every second of her short life... even in my weak moments. I know that that little life ending doesn't really make anything go away. None of it really ends. I know that every life has a purpose even if it never takes a breath. Anna had a great purpose and I am convinced she converted more hearts than I ever will be able to. I know that life matters. I know that no diagnosis can define a person or put a barrier between a mother or father and their child. I know this.
I also know that love is a funny this. It creeps in and takes over you. Even when the life is gone, love lives on.
Sorry to be cheesy... And I know that kind of rhymes. I stole it from a song sort of because I'm not cool enough to come up with something original. This song is actually about a woman that lost her husband but the theme still works. And if you actually listen to the song do yourself a favor and grab a box of Kleenexes. You are going to need them, I promise.
Ok... I got off topic. My point is, my position has not changed. If anything I am even more rooted in my beliefs in the Pro-Life movement. But I have a place in my heart for those who felt the panic and the worry and fear. Even if they made the wrong choice. I think we need to remember that some of these women felt like they had no way out of their situation. Trapped. And we need to love them through it all. Because I'd be willing to bet that maybe they didn't know they loved their child... but the love for them still lives on.
Seriously.... listen to the song :)