Thursday, March 7, 2013

Not knowing is terrifying me a little.

Since this is basically my online journal sometimes I just have to write out how I feel to sort things out and ultimately come to a conclusion. There... I warned you :)

I put in my 2 weeks notice on Monday for the job that I have been in love (and borderline obsessed with) for going on two years. This is my first day off this week and I feel like I was kind of the hot topic at work the past few days. There have been many comments thrown around to the Cardiology group that they are "stealing me away" and whatnot. It has been truly flattering to see people on both sides that want me. I wanted the people I care about most to hear it from me and most of them did but news travels fast. Now that it is official I have so many emotions.

I have been certain that this new job is the right thing for weeks but knowing that I will be saying good-bye to a great job and great people leaves me with an overwhelming sense of loss. We (particularly my weekend crew) know each other so well and truly are friends in and outside of work. I am close with my manager who is like a little mother hen. There are just so many wonderful things about my current job. It's like a family.

And then I think about this NEW job... other than all the excited feelings of newness I am unbelievably excited about how much I will learn. I knew when I graduated from nursing school that I was not done learning. I have continued to educate myself by attending seminars and classes and I LOVE it. I really think I took my education for granted a little bit. I am also looking forward to working closely with the doctors... again from an educational stand point. I am looking forward to meeting new people and building new relationships. I am excited about the schedule and more reasonable hours and the fact that this job is probably more conducive to family life. And the pay isn't too bad either :)  (I realize that is probably in poor taste to mention publicly but that has been everyone's question so now you don't have to ask ha)

Yesterday, my current boss (who has been so understanding and has given me many congratulations on this accomplishment) told me "the grass isn't always greener on the other side." I smiled politely and told her "I know" but the more I think about it... I have no idea. And that terrifies me a little. I am afraid that I am leaving something wonderful that I love for something that I know nothing about.

But how will I know if I don't try.

The decision has been made and even though my current boss says that it's not too late to change my mind and stay with the current job that I am comfortable in... I know I can't really turn back. And honestly, I don't want to. I have so many questions and fears but I have just as many (if not more) things to be happy and excited about.

"Whatever you are, be a good one." -Abraham Lincoln

Thanks for letting me get that out.

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