Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Time Hop Nostalgia

Most people have heard of the popular phone app "Time Hop" and I jumped on the bandwagon not too long ago after months of time hop posts bombarding my facebook newsfeed. I caved in a moment of weakness. Whatever...

Anyways, I love it! It is so funny to look back! 7 Years ago Patrick and I went on our first date and sort of started talking. It is so funny to see the things we said to each other and how we picked on each other because I am awkward and don't know how to flirt. The funniest thing is that I was so in denial about my feeling for him. I was constantly pushing those feelings away. I pushed him away. But he kept coming back. Thank God.

Those early days with Patrick were really something. There are no words to adequately describe that time in my life. I had never really been in love before and it consumed me. It was actually terrifying and I know now (hind-sight is really something else, isn't it) that that is the reason I was continuously pushing him away. But Love always wins.

Do you ever look back and think about how one little desicion changed everything for you? Or how life lined up just perfectly so that one event could take place? I often revel in that mystery when it comes to Patrick and I. So often that it is possible that I have already written about this before.... maybe.

How did a girl from Texas fall in love with a guy from Kansas? Sure we both went to the same college but we never had classes together. We had different friends (initially). I saw him on campus but did not know him. I am not even sure when I learned his name. He was just a guy I recognized.

What if I hadn't gone to Pittsburg State University? What if I had never left Texas? What if I had fallen away from my faith in college like so many students do and never gotten involved at the Newman Center where we ended up getting to know each other? What if I had not gone to the end of the year Banquet and Ball my freshman year (I wasn't planning on going to it but someone convinced me last minute) and spent the majority of the evening dancing with him? What if we had gone our separate ways after the Banquet and not stayed up until 5 AM talking and watching movies?

Things happen according to His plan and I truly believe that. Everything in my life feels like a domino affect. One thing has to happen so that another thing can happen... etc. It's crazy but a realization that brings me calm. Truth is: I have no control.

There are so many cliches that come to mind: When one door closes another door opens. There is some real truth to that one. It helps me to remember that no tragedy is ever all that tragic when you look at the big picture. It is just a piece of the puzzle, a necessary domino in  the line that leads me to the next big thing. This understanding takes away so much anxiety from my life.

So Time Hop isn't so bad after all, I suppose. I'm just going to sit here and sip on my fourth cup of coffee and flip through another chapter of my life story while my little boy naps. And I'll thank God for the good, the bad and the ugly that have brought me to this peaceful place in my life.

God is Good all the time.

This could have been a great first picture together but I had to be eating a piece of chocolate cake... with my hands... because I'm classy like that.

The girl that said the Banquet and Ball would be "bitchin" and I should totally come. Thanks, Katie.

Other best friends that were made that night... Thank you, God.

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