Friday, September 5, 2014

38 + weeks and over it :)

Yay for 38 weeks! It continues to blow my mind that I have had this baby inside me for this long AND he will be here so soon!

Pregnancy is truly amazing. Seriously, think about it. Women have the ability to grow a human being INSIDE OF THEM. That baby is alive and moving around and then when they get big enough they are born and... It is just amazing. I can't think of a more appropriate word right now. 

As great and to be honest miraculous pregnancy is I am over it. I'm done. I want him to get out all ready. I know this sounds pretty contradictory considering how amazing I think pregnancy and birth is but it's the truth. And here is why: I am unbelievably tired of hearing all the commentary from acquaintances and strangers alike. It's like these people have never seen a pregnant lady before.

"Are you having triplets or just twins." This is not an acceptable comment to make to anyone ever. This is implying that I am huge. Which I am because I'm 9months pregnant, but still, no one is allowed to comment in my size.

"You are carrying so high. There is no way you are having a boy. It must be a girl." Do you have any idea what kind if anxiety that gives me. Everything I have is boyish. And while it actually doesn't matter if I'm having a boy or girl in my mind... I'm a planner. The ultrasound tech told me it was a boy and that is what I have been planning on for the last 20 or so weeks.

"A salad? Your baby needs more than salad." So am I fat or small? I'm confused. Thanks but my baby is fine. He is getting plenty if nutrients. And quite frankly I can't comfortably eat steak and potatoes because that baby boy that I am carrying so high is obstructing the space where my stomach used to be. Plus, I am following my salad with a large chocolate chip cookie... But that's beside the point. Mind your own business.

"You are still here!?" I get this every day of work. It's not even my due date. You can start acting surprised to see me after September 17 th. Until then, just plan on me being here. I know I look like I'm ready to pop but I'm carrying too high, remember? Baby boy is takin his time.

"Enjoy your alone time while you still can." "Enjoy your sleep while you can." Etcetera. Last time I checked having a child was a blessing, not a curse. This was not an accident. This was not something someone made us do or that we did out of obligation. We made a conscious decision to love each other and the children we create knowing the sacrifices that go along with it. My life is not going to end when I have a baby. It is a new chapter beginning.

"Get an epidural, whatever you do!!! ... Oh you can't have one? Labor is going to be terrible." Thanks. Heard that before. It's called labor for a reason. But you don't know me and you don't know what I am capable of and your judgements are not in anyway beneficial to me. I am confident in myself and my body's ability to give birth. I don't judge people that have cesarean sections because sometimes that really is the best thing. I just don't think it's right for me. People did it without medical intervention for years. I can handle it but thanks for telling me I can't.

You see... I feel like I am constantly under the microscope. People are always analyze me physically. And looking at me.  Which I don't like. And everyone seems to be an expert in child growing and birthing. They also fail to remember that I have already experienced labor with my stillborn daughter. But I don't like to bring that up. I try to keep my mouth shut. I try to be polite and smile and nod. I just wish others would do the same.

So here I am at 38 + weeks pregnant. Large. Uncomfortable. And I just want him to come already. I'm ready for this.

No comments:

Post a Comment